Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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