it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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