Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
