I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
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I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
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we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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