my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
