Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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