Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Randomize
