She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
