Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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