I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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