Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
