Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
