Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
