Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Randomize
