how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
