pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
