Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
