i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
