Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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