I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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