There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
