is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
