i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
