We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
