My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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