we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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