dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
