I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
