No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
