i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
