I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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