she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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