You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
