therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
