turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
