Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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