Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.

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  (313): Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical. http://tfl.nu/9qp0
  Replies (2) Good night (975) Bad night (1175)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts

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  (703): i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts http://tfl.nu/gdmu
  Replies (13) Good night (2758) Bad night (715)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.

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  (505): Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before. http://tfl.nu/42ka
  Replies (93) Good night (5774) Bad night (967)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session

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  (401): So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session http://tfl.nu/9nzb
  Replies (111) Good night (1364) Bad night (6949)
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  (925): View more from California

  Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??

  (1-925): View more from California

  Yes. Yes it is.

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  (925): Is snow just God skeeting all over the place?? (1-925): Yes. Yes it is. http://tfl.nu/ofba
  Replies (12) Good night (4521) Bad night (1940)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?

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  (801): two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me? http://tfl.nu/3spk
  Replies (10) Good night (1116) Bad night (4133)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.

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  (440): I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body. http://tfl.nu/6n6i
  Replies (4) Good night (2155) Bad night (870)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night

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  (617): Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night http://tfl.nu/g4dq
  Replies (9) Good night (1450) Bad night (2632)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us

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  (413): We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us http://tfl.nu/tf0q
  Replies (11) Good night (2339) Bad night (894)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't. I will literally throw up my liver

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.

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  (610): I can't. I will literally throw up my liver (484): Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume. http://tfl.nu/eh54
  Replies (2) Good night (1779) Bad night (805)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now

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  (260): She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now http://tfl.nu/3rta
  Replies (5) Good night (1752) Bad night (953)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.

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  (512): I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out. http://tfl.nu/qokz
  Replies (4) Good night (943) Bad night (704)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.

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  (850): Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore. http://tfl.nu/g2ed
  Replies (2) Good night (390) Bad night (674)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.

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  (512): For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina. http://tfl.nu/nkmi
  Replies (5) Good night (1206) Bad night (375)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX

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  (602): FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX http://tfl.nu/s82z
  Replies (8) Good night (842) Bad night (337)

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