my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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