I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
