I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
the day after is always just damage control
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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