I don't remember. Are we still dating?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
