Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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