I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
