I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
