this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
