You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
