it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
