No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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