Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
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Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
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I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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