1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
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he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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