Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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