All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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