Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
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And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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