I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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