Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
"it" just moved
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
