before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
