All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
