so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
