worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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