Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize