Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You took a bar mat shot.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
